Magneto's Plans Ranked from Decent to Incredibly Stupid

Magneto is many things. He is a holocaust survivor. He is the leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants. He is the Master of Magnet. However in the films he is decidedly NOT a master of strategy. He is a hothead who does what he pleases, often changing his already problematic plans at the last minute because...things.

So let's take a trip down Magneto memory lane and rank his plans from each of the five X-Men movies in which he tries to do bad all by himself. They range from the somewhat satisfactory to the downright insane. There will be some spoilers from most of the movies. including the solo Wolverine movies, even though Magneto is not present in those. Why would Magnet care about liberating a mutant holding facility or a man who collects all the world's Adamantium? So without further adieu.



Continued after the jump.

5: X2 - The Reverse Genocide Machine - This is Not a Bad Plan


Now let's give credit where credit is due. This was not originally Magneto's plan. He stole it from William Stryker, who is only slightly better at evil plans than Magneto. Stryker does have a huge advantage though since his mutant power it the ability to see the future. How else could you explain the fact that Stryker predicted that a shot from his Adamantium bullets would give Wolverine permanent memory loss? Or how else would he be the only person that thought to bring a Magneto proof gun to the Sentinel rally? Or why would he wear big winter gloves to the raid on the mansion in X2? He couldn't have known that Iceman would make an ice wall. No one without a mutant power could know that.

Stryker inconsistencies aside, Stryker's X2 plan was pretty solid: kidnap Professor Xavier and trick him into using Cerebro to give all of the mutants the headache of death. Magento saw the plan and said, "I'll have that, but in white." It almost worked too. Magneto probably would have killed all of the humans if he didn't just leave before the plan was executed. But, instead, he did the old Irish Exit and let the X-Men ruin everything. It also seems like the faux-rebro would have just collapsed before the machine had enough time to kill everyone since the Alkali Lake mutant murder facility was also an active dam. Ugh.


4) X-Men: First Class - Cuban Missile Identity Crisis - I Don't Know About This One




So things weren't going great for the gang. Shaw was ready to start a world war so that he could be in charge. He seemed unstoppable having both his magic hat and room full of mirrors. Luckily our heroes were able to each split up and fight Shaw's gang which was made of the girl who was named Angel but wasn't the Angel, Red Nightcrawler, and the salsa dancer. Professor X was even able to make Shaw his mind puppet while Magneto executed him. This made Professor X very mad even though Shaw was both super unstoppable and a Nazi. So everything was good. Except nobody told the boats.

The armadas both fire on the beach. Magneto takes it way to personally and throws the missiles back at them, only missing because he accidentally deflects a bullet into Xavier's spine. Magneto had a chance to just throw the missiles away, but he chose to use them again. He clearly doesn't understand how this looks from the Navy's POV.


The Navy's POV

"Alright. Gotta make sure the Russians don't mess with America. Hey look. A jet. Some kid is jumping out of it and flying around. Oh no. He fell in the water. Should we get him? Oh look his jet is coming for him. No wait. It's DRAGGING A SUBMARINE OUT! And now some salsa dancer is making a big tornado that crashed both the jet and the sub. Oh good. No one died. They seem to be fighting. Oh my, the devil just teleported onto our boat. Oops, he escaped. Hey so it looks like everything is done. The Government wants us to shoot them. We probably should since one of them is the devil. This is not because that one guy can control metal. He seems nice."


3) X-Men - Turn the World Leaders into Mutants Water - You Aren't Helping




Lets ignore the fact that Magneto would have to switch out the Statue of Liberty torch with his new one right in front of everyone at the world leader party and all of the people that can see the Status of Liberty. Let's also ignore the fact that Magneto knows that Senator Kelly escaped and could totally warn everybody before the plan started. Let's even ignore the fact that Professor X should be able to find either Toad, Sabretooth, or Mystique using Cerebro and read their minds to figure out the plan beforehand aswell. Let's just look at what he learns mid plan.

Once the X-Men are captured, Magneto comes down to gloat. Jean tells Magneto that Senator Kelly popped like a man shaped water balloon and he is now dead. Magneto gives it a second then decides "Whatever" and goes ahead with his plan to mutantifly/liquify the world leaders anyway. Let's play it safe and say that maybe Jean was right since that's what the movie showed us. What did Magneto think would happen if a mutant melted all of the presidents? Not mutant genocide? Wrong. Total Mutant genocide. It's the beginning of that "round them up and put them into camps" scenario that you are trying to avoid.


2) X-Men: The Last Stand - Pileup on the Golden Gate -  A Really Dumb Plan




Whoof. So this movie stunk. We all know that. I think a big part of the blame can be heaped onto how poorly the movie ended. We had Mangeto just building this all star team of villains. We got a powered up Pyro, the Juggernaut, and Phoenix. All he had to do was go kill this kid. That was it. He picked up the Golden Gate Bridge and probably should have just dropped it on Alcatraz. Done and done. Instead he started a big fight with the X-Men that ultimately went nowhere.

To his credit, sending Juggernaut to get this kid was a no-brainer. Shadowcat being able to stop him was pretty dumb. Besides that, Magneto needs to kill the other five X-Men. Two of them are metal based. What does he use to accomplish this task? The bridge? Wolverine? Cars! On fire cars! Thrown in arbitrary directions! That'll show em. Or it will give them enough time to figure out how to stop me. Either/or.

The worst part is that he goes through his entire plan, which seems to be working out exactly how he planned it, WITHOUT USING PHOENIX! She doesn't do anything. She just stands there looking mad. Magneto doesn't even seem to want her to do anything. You would expect some kind of "Hey Jean, go ahead and destroy the X-Men at a molecular level so we can go home. I have been holding the Golden Gate Bridge up this entire time and am getting quite tired."


1) X-Men: Days of Future Past - Sentinel Stadium Extravaganza - Are You Out of Your Damn Mind?




This one blew my mind. Lovely film, but what on Earth was past Magneto trying to do? He seemed to want to kill the president and Trask with the Sentinels. Fine. I just have a couple of questions for Mangeto,

1. What was the stadium for? I guess it made a barrier but that seemed like an really roundabout way to accomplish that. Also wouldn't you instantly kill all the people that work in the front office?

2. Did you even consider the that since you broke out of the Pentagon last week and this is the unveiling of the mutant killing machines, some of the people protecting the president may be strapped with the guns made specifically to kill you?

3. Could you control the Sentinels telepathically? When you said "Do what you were made to do," and the Sentinel targeted Beast, were you speaking to it by manipulating its programming, because that sounds crazy and it didn't seem like you had enough time to test that.

4. After you killed the President and all of his guys, what next? They proved that they can capture you since the movie started with you in prison, so why don't you think they'll just get you again?

5. I get that you need to helmet to protect yourself from Charles, but was there any bigger giveaway that you were going to attack than stealing the helmet back in plain sight a couple of days earlier?

6. Did you think no one would notice that the train tracks were missing?

7. How quickly can you get away? Whenever you fly, you just sort of hover and move at whatever speed you would normally walk at. After you murder the president, shouldn't someone with a Magneto-proof gun be able to catch and shoot you?

8. Why involve Mystique? Wolverine came from the future specifically telling you not to do that. Couldn't you have done this without her?

9. What were the Sentinels that weren't fighting Beast and Wolverine doing? Were they just hanging out at the stadium?

10. If you like JFK so much, why would you ruin the stadium named for his assassinated brother?

11. What would you have done if Quicksilver showed up? You got really lucky that he didn't decide to stop you, since he saw it on TV and he knows that you are a pretty shitty guy, and probably his dad.

12. Why wouldn't Trask always have his little mutant wi-fi machine out? Wouldn't you assume someone like him is constantly scanning for mutants at an event like this?

13. Why would the TV cameras still be running?

14. Shouldn't your costume protect your neck? In the comics it does. Also how long after you get shot in the neck does it show, because that shit hurts. You took it like a champ.

15. Finally, why wouldn't you just assume they're gonna make sure the Sentinels don't have any metal in them? You never know. Imagine if, by some chance, they checked and found the metal and were able to remove it. You would have looked like such an X-Chicken.


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About Matt Kelly

Matthew Nando Kelly is an incredibly cool and handsome staff writer for Pop-Break who was allowed to write his own bio. Aside from weekly Flash reviews, he writes about film, television, music, and video games. He loves U2, cats, and the New Orleans Saints. His twitter handle is @NationofNando